Thoburi Udamee (Umie)

I am Thoburi Udamee. Some of my people call me Ame, but I am well known as Umie in the Rean Krav System team.

My journey is my own, filled with lessons I've learned along the way. I've realized that what's meant for me can never be taken, and what belongs to others was never mine to begin with.

LL1: Who I am to you doesn't matter as much as who I am to me.

Time Travel: Waking up in the morning, getting dressed in a pretty formal uniform with a white shirt and a long skirt, being ready physically, dead mentally for another day in my high school life.

I was in 12th grade, sitting alone in front of the learning facilitator's desk in the class, staring at the tree swaying in the wind, and the bird sang. It was 10-minute break time, and everybody was laughing, playing, having fun, and some were yapping with their friends.

My eyes were staring, my heart was pounding, and my brain was revising the past me, thinking of who I was compared to who I was back then.

I remembered how much I had grown. I used to be so shy that I couldn't make eye contact or keep a conversation going for more than a minute. I wasn't an introvert. I actually did well at school and even ranked in the top one to three of my class.

Some people didn't understand me or didn't like me that way, but I learned to accept and even like myself just as I was. That small self-acceptance was the start of my growth.

Being shy and keeping myself small, like a fish in a tank, didn't mean I was born that way. But should I really blame myself for being different from what others expected me to be? NO! Never! Not a chance.

People can always judge you, and that is fine because they don't know your deep-down story, so let them. Let them be them and allow yourself to be who you are. Let them misunderstand you, judge you, dislike you, but never let anyone cross your boundaries. Stand up, speak your truth, and protect yourself.

Being shy and keeping myself small in a box did not mean I was born that way. But should I blame the things that had happened to me and shaped me into that kind of person? I must decline. I chose not to be a victim of what has happened to me, but to learn and grow from my wounds.

There was a time I felt like everything around me controlled my life. But then I realized something powerful: I can always choose who I want to be and what I want to do. I cannot control others, and they cannot control me unless I let them.

That's when I understood that my life is mine to lead. Every choice I make, every person I allow to influence me, shapes my journey. And from that moment, I started choosing wisely, taking control, and creating the life I truly wanted. Analyze past actions to guide future decisions...

LL2: You don't have to be seen as perfect; you just have to be you.

The school bell rang, and I snapped out of my thoughts. Life goes on.

A grade 12 student with no expectation of getting an A, yet managed to get an A on the national exam 2024 anyway.

Getting an A grade is not easy, and I totally understand. I did not let myself expect too much, but I let myself work as hard as possible. Hard work will never betray you once you know how to work smart. "Work smart but still work hard."

I faced severe mental health challenges and endured four years of depression. During this time, I struggled with self-doubt, insecurity, mental overload, negative self-talk, procrastination, and people-pleasing. I felt small, overwhelmed, and like I didn't belong.

I was in B class with only one close friend, while two best friends were in C class, and I had a great and hardworking partner in E class. I sought support from them, but most importantly, I became my own greatest source of motivation and mental support, all while focusing on preparing for my high school national exams.

Everyone is fighting their silent battles, so are you. This is life; if you don't fight, try, and keep moving forward, then what is the price of breathing? We are human, don't just live to survive. We are human, we are the world changers.

To all high school students and juniors, dare to dream big and take full responsibility for your big dreams. Grade A is possible if you trust yourself, trust the process of grinding with determination, and give your 101%. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't, not even your inner voice. Why stay small when you have the power to be big? "You can do it!"

LL3: Face the fear, break through, and do it your way.

Upon graduating from high school, I am pursuing a career as a young woman in STEM, majoring in Civil Engineering at Build Bright University in Siem Reap, supported by a fully funded scholarship that assists with my family's educational expenses.

I have dreams and goals, but to reach them, I first had to confront my own fears. I started by stepping out of my comfort zone and trying things I had never dared to explore.

At first, I made mistakes. I failed over and over, but with each failure and disappointment, I was learning and growing.

Today, I am stronger and more resilient than ever. More importantly, I have discovered opportunities to empower youth and inspire the next generation. I am proud to be part of a youth project that makes a meaningful impact on young people. Yet, I know there is still so much more for me to learn, explore, and achieve on this journey of growth and self-discovery.

Above all, I dream of building a life that supports my family, sparks inspiration in others, and leaves a mark that the next generation can look up to.

Don't wait for opportunity, get up and create your own. Magic happens when you embrace the challenge and take the first step. Trust the process, trust yourself!